TRYING TO BOUNCE BACK!

I hated my blotchy skin, my grey stubby hair, my teeny eye lashes….I hated the way I looked. I was depressed because I did not know how to get back to LIFE. And all of this low state cobwebbed in me after I began feeling better!!! It took me a while to accept myself, my changed looks and move on. I first joined a Book Club. It took an immense amount of courage to step out of the comfort zone and meet people who did not know me. We met at a lovely lady, Tara’s place. Even with Pradipta by my side, I was so self conscious that I could not speak. When I finally tried to introduce myself, my voice was hoarse and I croaked!!! Fortunately there were some wonderful people and by the time the evening was out, I felt a lot better. I do look forward to the Book Club meetings now. My next mammoth effort was to be involved in a “play reading”. Since my grey hair is a wee bit more presentable and my skin, a little less blotchy, I wasn’t so nervous. I thoroughly enjoyed reading my role. The experience took me back to school and college!! Thanks to some great people, Pradipta and I had a terrific evening again. We are so looking forward to the next evening of “play reading”. I was consciously goading my self confidence to climb up another notch, but it received a severe blow! It slumped down when my dear friend Sumita could not recognize me at her son’s wedding!! I realized how much I had changed!!! I was distraught, but then I reasoned with myself. I was a changed person after all….so naturally my looks were also different! I joined Sivananda Yoga classes. That was my next step forward. It takes an effort to tell people about my medical condition, but once done, it is easy. The instructors are wonderful and every day is a novel experience. Last week I received a phone call from DPS Sushant Lok requesting me to teach there! The school is 5 minutes away from home and I hopped across to it. Teach French to school children? I could do that even in deep sleep!!! I promised them that I would go across twice a week and teach the little ones from the new academic session. I have just completed one year of struggle and I am trying to catapult back to life!!! I look bad but I feel good. The Merciful God has placed tiny opportunities before me and terrific people around me. I embrace both with a lot of gratitude.