I strutted around saree clad and with a bandana on my head as if I was the 21st century trend setter, if you please!!! I managed to do all that I usually used to do for Durga Pujo and was thrilled about it.
Durga Pujo is a five day festival beginning on sasthi (6th day) to dashami (10th day) of the Navratras. The most auspicious time is the “Sondhi Pujo” which is the union between asthami (8th day) and navami (9th day). The duration of this puja is short and extremely special. The story goes that this is the time that the Goddess killed Ashur, the devil who was tormenting the Gods. One also believes that this is the auspicious time that Ma Durga blessed Ram before he went to fight the battle at Lanka. It is a powerful moment of victory; in fact it is an invocation of shakti (power).
During this puja, the Goddess is worshipped with 108 lotuses and 108 little lamps. The pujari chants a very special vedic mantra as he performs the ritual. The chant, the lamps, the lotuses, and the solemnity of the devotees make the very air emanate incredible energy and the moment is surreal and sublime.
I looked up at the Goddess, the Mother, at this sublime moment with my hands folded in respect. Her face (I felt) was radiant and alive. I stared at Her without a single prayer in my heart!!! I dialed the toll free number and connected with Her. It struck me that at this moment last year, I had prayed that She takes care of my family and loved ones, blesses them and makes them happy. Little did I know what was to happen to me…such things only happened to others, never ever to me!!!
At that moment of sondhi puja, as I stood before Mother, I did not have anything to ask for. She had given me life to enjoy another Durga Puja festival even without asking for it! She protects me from all harm, what is the puny- me going to ask for? I felt small, foolish and vulnerable. I always used to have a list of things that I needed to pray for. For the first time I was acutely conscious of the fact that I was so disastrously ignorant that I did not even know what I “needed” to pray for.
It is a direct hot line connection from point A to point B between Almighty and me and no matter how much I tried or my loved ones tried, there is no way that point C can get linked. The realization is overwhelming. As I dialed the toll free number and connected with the Supreme Power, there was little else I could do but surrender in utter awe. Surprisingly, as I surrendered, I felt the warmth of security and love. It reassured me.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
A LOVE AFFAIR WITH APOLLO’S SISTER!!
That is Artemis…she was Apollo’s sister. Being “gay” is “in” and I have a love affair going with her. I am talking about the hospital “Artemis” in Gurgaon.
When I was first referred to Dr Siddharth Sahni, an onco-surgeon, I walked into the Artemis Hospital because I had no choice. I was in pursuit of Dr Sahni. That was the beginning of my affair with Artemis.
I was there everyday and every where. I romanced with her in the OPD rooms, Phlebotomy, Ultra Sound, Mammography rooms. I was in her basement, in the PET scan chamber, in the IPD rooms. The OTs, the Chemo Therapy Centre, The Radiation Therapy chambers, the ICU floors, the various desks, and the toilets at every corner….I know them all, have seen them all in their best and their unkempt states. I bared my body to her and she hid nothing from me!
Our familiarity and love blossomed. I know most of the members of her family …the terrific doctors, the wonderful male and female nurses, the young technicians in every room and the various other staff members. Artemis, too, greets Pradipta as a dear family member.
Every day that I trudge or glide into Artemis, I receive a big welcome smile from everyone that I encounter. The gateman sings “Good Morning Madam” with such exuberance that I feel that, that is the one magical morning that I have been waiting for all my life! The young boys and girls at the desks wear big smiles and never fail to enquire how one is feeling. The nurses wave and smile with twinkling eyes as if to say, “Yippee, let’s have fun!!” And finally when I meet the doctor, he/she has a huge grin to say, “Hey, what is your worry? I am here!!” Try as he might, to be grouchy and sad and morbid, even the skeleton with the cross bow at his mouth would be unable to resist a smile!!!
I was instilled with a phobia that big hospitals fleece you mercilessly till you drop down penniless. I haven’t felt that way at Artemis so far…but after all, we have been lovers for only the last nine months. Do you remember my precious Herceptin that I need to take once every three weeks? Well it comes in 400 mgs packs and I need only 350mgs of it. The chemo therapy centre stashes away the remaining bit of the drug with my name on it so that I can use it during my following chemo session. Pradipta and I danced a jig when we paid zilch during my last session. The left-over drug had accumulated to meet my required dosage!! You do understand why I wanted to give a long passionate kiss to sweet Artemis?
Her culinary skills are pretty pathetic, but other than that my Artemis is young, beautiful, efficient, loving and always holds my hand as is her motto. Commitment is boring and passé. Hence I am convinced that we should not be together for too long. Yet, considering the circumstances, I am glad to have met her, to be with her. God bless dear Artemis!!
When I was first referred to Dr Siddharth Sahni, an onco-surgeon, I walked into the Artemis Hospital because I had no choice. I was in pursuit of Dr Sahni. That was the beginning of my affair with Artemis.
I was there everyday and every where. I romanced with her in the OPD rooms, Phlebotomy, Ultra Sound, Mammography rooms. I was in her basement, in the PET scan chamber, in the IPD rooms. The OTs, the Chemo Therapy Centre, The Radiation Therapy chambers, the ICU floors, the various desks, and the toilets at every corner….I know them all, have seen them all in their best and their unkempt states. I bared my body to her and she hid nothing from me!
Our familiarity and love blossomed. I know most of the members of her family …the terrific doctors, the wonderful male and female nurses, the young technicians in every room and the various other staff members. Artemis, too, greets Pradipta as a dear family member.
Every day that I trudge or glide into Artemis, I receive a big welcome smile from everyone that I encounter. The gateman sings “Good Morning Madam” with such exuberance that I feel that, that is the one magical morning that I have been waiting for all my life! The young boys and girls at the desks wear big smiles and never fail to enquire how one is feeling. The nurses wave and smile with twinkling eyes as if to say, “Yippee, let’s have fun!!” And finally when I meet the doctor, he/she has a huge grin to say, “Hey, what is your worry? I am here!!” Try as he might, to be grouchy and sad and morbid, even the skeleton with the cross bow at his mouth would be unable to resist a smile!!!
I was instilled with a phobia that big hospitals fleece you mercilessly till you drop down penniless. I haven’t felt that way at Artemis so far…but after all, we have been lovers for only the last nine months. Do you remember my precious Herceptin that I need to take once every three weeks? Well it comes in 400 mgs packs and I need only 350mgs of it. The chemo therapy centre stashes away the remaining bit of the drug with my name on it so that I can use it during my following chemo session. Pradipta and I danced a jig when we paid zilch during my last session. The left-over drug had accumulated to meet my required dosage!! You do understand why I wanted to give a long passionate kiss to sweet Artemis?
Her culinary skills are pretty pathetic, but other than that my Artemis is young, beautiful, efficient, loving and always holds my hand as is her motto. Commitment is boring and passé. Hence I am convinced that we should not be together for too long. Yet, considering the circumstances, I am glad to have met her, to be with her. God bless dear Artemis!!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
FLOATING ON CLOUDS FOUR!!
I don’t have nine clouds to float on. I only have four brilliant ones to lean upon and float over emotional hills and dales, over chasms and meadows. My four brilliant doctors have been helping me float.
When I first encountered each of my doctors, I was terrified. Dr. Siddharth Sahni, the young onco-surgeon had had the unenviable task of telling me that I had cancer. I could have killed him then….I wanted to tell him that he was insane. Pradipta and I felt that we were getting buried alive in a tunnel. Dr. Sahni talked to us, guided me through the various tests, revealed the exciting contents of the Pandora’s Box and helped me to accept the dreaded “C” disease. He operated on me, was with Pradipta every time that he could get out of the OT and was like a dear family member who stood by us all the way.
Six weeks after the surgery, I graduated (not floated) to the second level of treatment. Dr. R. Ranga Rao is the onco-medicine genius. After having been pampered by Dr. Sahni, I dreaded meeting any other doctor. But soon after the first meeting, Dr. Rao erased away my fear. He is such a thorough professional, yet so gentle! His positivity is infectious and it makes me believe that things just cannot go wrong! I have shared my stupidest worries with him and have only received serious, genuine answers to them. He gives the most brilliant medicines to sort the various problems which crop up along the tortuous path of chemo therapy. I told him so one day. He smiled awkwardly and simply said, “Thank You.”
I survived (not floated) through 4 months of aggressive chemo therapy. I began on radio therapy treatment under Dr. Subodh Pandey. I was petrified when I first saw the gigantic machine. But Dr. Pandey and his terrific team helped me through. I was on the dreaded machine for 31 days. Dr. Pandey gently fore warned me of difficulties and advised me on how to tackle them. I trudged (not floated) through the treatment.
Dr. Ruchika Khetarpal is my beautiful cloud. She takes care of the chemo therapy centre. It amazes me how she smiles so caringly when all she sees is discomfort in the chemo room. Her warmth fills the room and she always has something special to say to every patient.
My clouds are brilliant on the inside and dashingly good looking on the outside. All four of them would put a lot of ramp models to shame!!! Ahem!!! :-))
I labored through each phase of the treatment, but 3 weeks after the treatment, as I look back today, I feel as if I am floating on my clouds.
Doctors are not God, and I know not what lies ahead of me. For the moment as I float happily on my clouds, I can only say the two little inadequate words “Thank You!”
When I first encountered each of my doctors, I was terrified. Dr. Siddharth Sahni, the young onco-surgeon had had the unenviable task of telling me that I had cancer. I could have killed him then….I wanted to tell him that he was insane. Pradipta and I felt that we were getting buried alive in a tunnel. Dr. Sahni talked to us, guided me through the various tests, revealed the exciting contents of the Pandora’s Box and helped me to accept the dreaded “C” disease. He operated on me, was with Pradipta every time that he could get out of the OT and was like a dear family member who stood by us all the way.
Six weeks after the surgery, I graduated (not floated) to the second level of treatment. Dr. R. Ranga Rao is the onco-medicine genius. After having been pampered by Dr. Sahni, I dreaded meeting any other doctor. But soon after the first meeting, Dr. Rao erased away my fear. He is such a thorough professional, yet so gentle! His positivity is infectious and it makes me believe that things just cannot go wrong! I have shared my stupidest worries with him and have only received serious, genuine answers to them. He gives the most brilliant medicines to sort the various problems which crop up along the tortuous path of chemo therapy. I told him so one day. He smiled awkwardly and simply said, “Thank You.”
I survived (not floated) through 4 months of aggressive chemo therapy. I began on radio therapy treatment under Dr. Subodh Pandey. I was petrified when I first saw the gigantic machine. But Dr. Pandey and his terrific team helped me through. I was on the dreaded machine for 31 days. Dr. Pandey gently fore warned me of difficulties and advised me on how to tackle them. I trudged (not floated) through the treatment.
Dr. Ruchika Khetarpal is my beautiful cloud. She takes care of the chemo therapy centre. It amazes me how she smiles so caringly when all she sees is discomfort in the chemo room. Her warmth fills the room and she always has something special to say to every patient.
My clouds are brilliant on the inside and dashingly good looking on the outside. All four of them would put a lot of ramp models to shame!!! Ahem!!! :-))
I labored through each phase of the treatment, but 3 weeks after the treatment, as I look back today, I feel as if I am floating on my clouds.
Doctors are not God, and I know not what lies ahead of me. For the moment as I float happily on my clouds, I can only say the two little inadequate words “Thank You!”
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
BETCHA ‘TIS HAIR RAISING!! :-))
Poor you! You do not notice exciting things like I do!! I have inculcated this wondrous habit of noticing precious things like “hair”!!! Now, now!! There is no need to turn up your nose.
I see beautiful straight hair, sexy curly hair, elegant wavy hair, exciting frizzy hair, long hair, short hair, manageable hair, unmanageable hair, plaited hair, coiled hair, clipped hair, bobbed hair, cropped hair, styled hair, unkempt hair, coloured hair, streaked hair, salt and pepper hair, grey hair…..exhausting, but it is all about wearing or not wearing hair!!!
Instead of gazing at all the beautiful things around me, I have been gazing longingly at “hair” if you please! I am almost an authority on hair now, and have enough research jotted in my mind to write a voluminous book titled “THE LONG AND SHORT OF HAIR”!
Beauty parlors at every turn of the road beckon us. Thick eyebrows are so unacceptable, and need to be threaded to the perfect arc. If a miniscule strand of hair on the upper lip or the chin is spotted, it is imperative to uproot it. Little strands of body hair? Oh, how disgusting! For Heaven’s sake, rush to get them waxed!! When women have facial hair, it is unelegant. When men have facial hair, it is macho.
We are almost never happy with our lot. When women have straight hair, they wish for a curly top and labor tirelessly to achieve it. On the other hand those with a curly nest get their hair ironed and whatever else to straighten it. Men who want to make a style statement sport long hair. While another lot of the same sex thinks that, that looks unkempt and dirty. They much prefer the close cropped clean George Clooney look.
Samson lost his strength when Delilah chopped off his hair. When Eve was seducing Adam, she fluttered her eyelashes and flicked her curls and thus taught women the art of seducing. Men often pat their mops when they want to impress the she-devil. As I gaze around me, I realize that hair talks. It speaks volumes about a person’s psyche.
Just be careful with your hair, you poor dear souls!! Remember it talks!! You worry for me? No, there is absolutely no need just yet. You see, I have miniscule eyelashes struggling to sprout out, thin eyebrows coyly revealing themselves and a salt and pepper fungus gently covering my pate which cannot even whisper. Steeped in this hair raising insight I am still patiently waiting for a vociferous growth!! I promise to keep you posted as soon as it twitters!! :-)))
I see beautiful straight hair, sexy curly hair, elegant wavy hair, exciting frizzy hair, long hair, short hair, manageable hair, unmanageable hair, plaited hair, coiled hair, clipped hair, bobbed hair, cropped hair, styled hair, unkempt hair, coloured hair, streaked hair, salt and pepper hair, grey hair…..exhausting, but it is all about wearing or not wearing hair!!!
Instead of gazing at all the beautiful things around me, I have been gazing longingly at “hair” if you please! I am almost an authority on hair now, and have enough research jotted in my mind to write a voluminous book titled “THE LONG AND SHORT OF HAIR”!
Beauty parlors at every turn of the road beckon us. Thick eyebrows are so unacceptable, and need to be threaded to the perfect arc. If a miniscule strand of hair on the upper lip or the chin is spotted, it is imperative to uproot it. Little strands of body hair? Oh, how disgusting! For Heaven’s sake, rush to get them waxed!! When women have facial hair, it is unelegant. When men have facial hair, it is macho.
We are almost never happy with our lot. When women have straight hair, they wish for a curly top and labor tirelessly to achieve it. On the other hand those with a curly nest get their hair ironed and whatever else to straighten it. Men who want to make a style statement sport long hair. While another lot of the same sex thinks that, that looks unkempt and dirty. They much prefer the close cropped clean George Clooney look.
Samson lost his strength when Delilah chopped off his hair. When Eve was seducing Adam, she fluttered her eyelashes and flicked her curls and thus taught women the art of seducing. Men often pat their mops when they want to impress the she-devil. As I gaze around me, I realize that hair talks. It speaks volumes about a person’s psyche.
Just be careful with your hair, you poor dear souls!! Remember it talks!! You worry for me? No, there is absolutely no need just yet. You see, I have miniscule eyelashes struggling to sprout out, thin eyebrows coyly revealing themselves and a salt and pepper fungus gently covering my pate which cannot even whisper. Steeped in this hair raising insight I am still patiently waiting for a vociferous growth!! I promise to keep you posted as soon as it twitters!! :-)))
Friday, September 17, 2010
GIGGLING DOWN MEMORY LANE!! :-)))
How foolishly we giggled away!! That was my first afternoon out with my school friends after embracing my new found freedom. Dodging various hurdles and stuffing commitments in garbage bags, Ritu, Nisha, Nita and I met up at the mall for a meal together.
After the initial debate of where we should eat and what we should eat, we settled down. Ritu and I dream of mannequin like figures but refuse to cut down on eating…so that is easy! Nisha binges on special days but Nita is "self discipline" personified!! She only wanted “tomato shorba” lest her hour glass figure gathered an inch!!!
We gorged, suffered from profuse verbal diarrhea, minced each other up and giggled …till we realized that our responsibilities were frantically beckoning us.
The following evening was equally thrilling. Jashodhara, Reena and I were 19 year olds once more. Just a fortnight back Jasho and I had reconnected with our dear friend Reena from college on Facebook. The excitement was spilling out and it was imperative that we meet. Both of them came by to my house and time stood still! With “google eyes”, grins glued to our ears, we hugged one another in ecstasy! Soon there was a talkathon in process…statements, questions, exclamations whizzing around the room, often colliding with one another. “Do you remember…?” “Of course you did, silly”!, “Oh dear, no!!”…we skidded down memory lane, laughed at our insane escapades, and fondly remembered other dear friends and our wonderful professors. Updating one another on our present families was purely incidental. There was one thing that was certain. We were definitely going to make up for lost time!
At night I dug out my old photo album and gently turned the wrinkled pages. There we were, with silly expressions, posing together as if we were beauty queens! How little we cared for the world, how little we knew about its complexities. Yet we thought we knew it all, in fact had conquered it all!
28 years later, we have evolved. Life has happened to each of us and we are what we are. It is only a few fortunate beings who can transcendent time and giggle foolishly once again. I have begun collecting such moments greedily. They make me richer than the Kohinoor diamond would.
After the initial debate of where we should eat and what we should eat, we settled down. Ritu and I dream of mannequin like figures but refuse to cut down on eating…so that is easy! Nisha binges on special days but Nita is "self discipline" personified!! She only wanted “tomato shorba” lest her hour glass figure gathered an inch!!!
We gorged, suffered from profuse verbal diarrhea, minced each other up and giggled …till we realized that our responsibilities were frantically beckoning us.
The following evening was equally thrilling. Jashodhara, Reena and I were 19 year olds once more. Just a fortnight back Jasho and I had reconnected with our dear friend Reena from college on Facebook. The excitement was spilling out and it was imperative that we meet. Both of them came by to my house and time stood still! With “google eyes”, grins glued to our ears, we hugged one another in ecstasy! Soon there was a talkathon in process…statements, questions, exclamations whizzing around the room, often colliding with one another. “Do you remember…?” “Of course you did, silly”!, “Oh dear, no!!”…we skidded down memory lane, laughed at our insane escapades, and fondly remembered other dear friends and our wonderful professors. Updating one another on our present families was purely incidental. There was one thing that was certain. We were definitely going to make up for lost time!
At night I dug out my old photo album and gently turned the wrinkled pages. There we were, with silly expressions, posing together as if we were beauty queens! How little we cared for the world, how little we knew about its complexities. Yet we thought we knew it all, in fact had conquered it all!
28 years later, we have evolved. Life has happened to each of us and we are what we are. It is only a few fortunate beings who can transcendent time and giggle foolishly once again. I have begun collecting such moments greedily. They make me richer than the Kohinoor diamond would.
Monday, September 6, 2010
FREEDOM AT MIDNIGHT!!
It was 7 minutes past midnight when my cell phone beeped. I received the first birthday message from my former student, Sanya. I managed to open my heavy eyes. My limbs paralyzed by deep sleep, did not move, but my mind did. I thought, “Yipee! My birthday, and the day of FREEDOM from restrictions!!” and I sank back in slumber.
When I was a child, my mum would complain that I had far too many friends than was manageable. That is something that my Creator has blessed me with. As I said before, I have innumerable angels (my friends and family) all around me. The birthday messages started beeping and ringing in since the wee hours. I was not feeling too well that morning…a side effect of radiation. The energy generated by my loved ones gave me the strength to get ready for another day’s therapy.
I wanted to do all the things I had not done for four months. My mind shouted, “Hurrah! Let’s do it!!” but my body groaned, “Sorry, just cannot…too exhausted!” Normally I hate surprise gifts from my family, but as I returned from therapy there was a beautiful bouquet of tube roses waiting for me from my friends and a lovely gift from Madhu. Of course I was thrilled, but I still hadn’t done anything to mark my day of freedom.
Pradipta returned home from work with a gorgeous bouquet of colorful carnations, and Diya with a chocolate cake. All three of them (Pradipta, Diya and Tisham) insisted that we go out for dinner to mark my liberation day. I had neither eaten cake nor dressed up and certainly not gone for dinner in the last four months!! I wore the chic pair of denims that Tisham had given me, dashed the Armani perfume that Pradipta had bought for me, fixed my wig on my glossy pate and was ready in a jiffy. :)
Despite the incessant rain we went out for a sumptuous Chinese dinner. Unfortunately I had difficulty in swallowing the food as my oesophagus was sore due to radiation. My meal was restricted to bland, white Chinese dishes. Nevertheless, I ate as heartily and hungrily as the rest of the family. My excitement was that of a 4 year old or a 9 year old…certainly not of someone who had turned 49!! :))
I cut the delicious chocolate cake at night and we savored every morsel of it. Simba expressed his glee by barking loudly enough to awaken the neighborhood! After satiating my sulking stomach and satisfying my hungry mind, I bade adieu to the magical evening. From one mid night till the other, I had celebrated my birthday and my liberation. But above all, I had celebrated the joy of being alive in this world amidst my family and friends who held my hand!
When I was a child, my mum would complain that I had far too many friends than was manageable. That is something that my Creator has blessed me with. As I said before, I have innumerable angels (my friends and family) all around me. The birthday messages started beeping and ringing in since the wee hours. I was not feeling too well that morning…a side effect of radiation. The energy generated by my loved ones gave me the strength to get ready for another day’s therapy.
I wanted to do all the things I had not done for four months. My mind shouted, “Hurrah! Let’s do it!!” but my body groaned, “Sorry, just cannot…too exhausted!” Normally I hate surprise gifts from my family, but as I returned from therapy there was a beautiful bouquet of tube roses waiting for me from my friends and a lovely gift from Madhu. Of course I was thrilled, but I still hadn’t done anything to mark my day of freedom.
Pradipta returned home from work with a gorgeous bouquet of colorful carnations, and Diya with a chocolate cake. All three of them (Pradipta, Diya and Tisham) insisted that we go out for dinner to mark my liberation day. I had neither eaten cake nor dressed up and certainly not gone for dinner in the last four months!! I wore the chic pair of denims that Tisham had given me, dashed the Armani perfume that Pradipta had bought for me, fixed my wig on my glossy pate and was ready in a jiffy. :)
Despite the incessant rain we went out for a sumptuous Chinese dinner. Unfortunately I had difficulty in swallowing the food as my oesophagus was sore due to radiation. My meal was restricted to bland, white Chinese dishes. Nevertheless, I ate as heartily and hungrily as the rest of the family. My excitement was that of a 4 year old or a 9 year old…certainly not of someone who had turned 49!! :))
I cut the delicious chocolate cake at night and we savored every morsel of it. Simba expressed his glee by barking loudly enough to awaken the neighborhood! After satiating my sulking stomach and satisfying my hungry mind, I bade adieu to the magical evening. From one mid night till the other, I had celebrated my birthday and my liberation. But above all, I had celebrated the joy of being alive in this world amidst my family and friends who held my hand!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
KISSA KURSI KA
It is all about the chair that you sit on…your position of power. How difficult it is to come down from the throne just when you get used to being treated like the Queen of Sheeba! Hélas! That is what is about to happen to me!
After undergoing the surgery in March, the second round of treatment, the chemo therapy began on the 29th of April and was scheduled at a gap of every 2 weeks. I went through 8 rounds and the last chemo therapy was on the 5th of August. It was 3 and ½ months of sheer hell and endless side effects. In fact, initially I would have a bad week and then a good week, but in the latter 4 rounds there wasn’t a single day that I felt totally well before I went in for chemo. My plight was so pitiful!
While Tisham was still in Singapore during my very first round of chemo, he sent me a beautiful message which I saved up. This is what he wrote to me, “Ma, you should sit back and let yourself be pampered for the next 4 months! Love you!” That is precisely what my family did to me…Pradipta, Tisham and Diya spoilt me rotten. Every single restriction imposed by the doctor was adhered to unstintingly. I was the Queen of Sheeba!:)
My meals were either cooked by Pradipta or by Tisham just minutes before I ate to ensure its freshness. Tisham, who has inherited his passion and enthusiasm for cooking from his grandfather and his father, would bake chocolate cakes and puddings. Dr. Rao had prescribed a high calorie, high sugar diet. Hence I lived on kheer, stewed apples and pears and sooji halwa replete with nuts and raisins…all specially prepared by the two important men in my life. Ice creams were bought for me every second day as that had become my primary food. Diya bought the most exciting flavors of ice cream like the water melon flavor and honey cinnamon flavor. I was steadily and surely gaining weight to throw around!
For some chemical reason, soon after the chemo, I would invariably spend the entire Saturday and Sunday weeping. Pradipta insisted that my drug “Taxol” had psychedelic effects which made me so crabby. I would have a stream of tears flowing down incessantly…and of course that was misery sans reason! Tisham decided that I needed to distract myself. He made me watch mushy romantic films or various episodes of “Frasier”, which normally had me giggling.
I was in the limelight, held the centre stage of the family. Yet, little did I appreciate my “position of power” at that time. Friday, the 3rd of September is my birthday. On that day, all restrictions that had been imposed for chemo therapy would be removed. I would be FREE, FREE and FREE….at least for the time being. I am waiting for the day with baited breath.
However Tisham points out the flip side. He says that, that day onwards I would be reduced to a riffraff, a common mortal, ousted from my glorious throne…to go out shopping, watch movies, plays, and eat at restaurants just like you all.
Which would I prefer? Good Heavens, what a question to ask! :))
After undergoing the surgery in March, the second round of treatment, the chemo therapy began on the 29th of April and was scheduled at a gap of every 2 weeks. I went through 8 rounds and the last chemo therapy was on the 5th of August. It was 3 and ½ months of sheer hell and endless side effects. In fact, initially I would have a bad week and then a good week, but in the latter 4 rounds there wasn’t a single day that I felt totally well before I went in for chemo. My plight was so pitiful!
While Tisham was still in Singapore during my very first round of chemo, he sent me a beautiful message which I saved up. This is what he wrote to me, “Ma, you should sit back and let yourself be pampered for the next 4 months! Love you!” That is precisely what my family did to me…Pradipta, Tisham and Diya spoilt me rotten. Every single restriction imposed by the doctor was adhered to unstintingly. I was the Queen of Sheeba!:)
My meals were either cooked by Pradipta or by Tisham just minutes before I ate to ensure its freshness. Tisham, who has inherited his passion and enthusiasm for cooking from his grandfather and his father, would bake chocolate cakes and puddings. Dr. Rao had prescribed a high calorie, high sugar diet. Hence I lived on kheer, stewed apples and pears and sooji halwa replete with nuts and raisins…all specially prepared by the two important men in my life. Ice creams were bought for me every second day as that had become my primary food. Diya bought the most exciting flavors of ice cream like the water melon flavor and honey cinnamon flavor. I was steadily and surely gaining weight to throw around!
For some chemical reason, soon after the chemo, I would invariably spend the entire Saturday and Sunday weeping. Pradipta insisted that my drug “Taxol” had psychedelic effects which made me so crabby. I would have a stream of tears flowing down incessantly…and of course that was misery sans reason! Tisham decided that I needed to distract myself. He made me watch mushy romantic films or various episodes of “Frasier”, which normally had me giggling.
I was in the limelight, held the centre stage of the family. Yet, little did I appreciate my “position of power” at that time. Friday, the 3rd of September is my birthday. On that day, all restrictions that had been imposed for chemo therapy would be removed. I would be FREE, FREE and FREE….at least for the time being. I am waiting for the day with baited breath.
However Tisham points out the flip side. He says that, that day onwards I would be reduced to a riffraff, a common mortal, ousted from my glorious throne…to go out shopping, watch movies, plays, and eat at restaurants just like you all.
Which would I prefer? Good Heavens, what a question to ask! :))
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